Isles of Scion

The primary factors leading to my dismissal were almost entirely based around the volatile conditions that I was placed into during my stay in Ridgeway. There were repeated instances of drugs, drunken fights, parties till 3 AM or later, and strangers ending up in my room and using my things. There was not a single block of 24 hours where I did not smell marijuana at least once. I witnessed everything from public urination to drug deals and I informed a counselor, my residency director, Seargent Bianca and fellow university police , as well as my RA of most if not all the situations many times as they were happening. After a few months of nothing changing I finally gave up and for the first time since junior high I fell into a slump of depression.

On my part as well I made the great mistake of assuming that my work load in community college would be equal to university college. This apparently is the same mistake made by administration in assuming that community college compares in any respect to university level work. Because of this assumption and the surprise expenses like the parking pass (which was 6 times more expensive to get than my community college park pass) I got a job with the Green Coats. Unfortunately the mixture of late hours, work load, and the hostile environment caused me to do far below my standard performance on my first quarter here. A mixture of stress (the highest levels of my entire life) and my surrounding environment caused my improvements to be slow but consistent.

However since escaping the dorms, unfortunately one quarter too late, I have been feeling completely revived. The eye twitch and inability to sleep that have plagued me for months have both subsided for the most part, although my eye does still twitch sometimes when I’m feeling ill from the heat.

Even with the more compact and larger workloads of the summer quarter where I found myself at times reading upwards of 160 pages a night (40-80 pages in each class) I still was able to retain pleasingly high levels of information. It would be unfair for me to attribute my success this quarter within myself completely, the incredible support of my girlfriend, Mr. Singletary, and that of both my professors Dr. Goodvin and Dr. Johnson respectively, each has helped me to set goals and insured that my summer quarter would be full of nothing but knowledge and confidence. Which I must say have both come to be in equally high quantities.

I still very much want to stay with Psychology, I have a deep interest in the human psyche and am a constantly active voice in all my of psychology courses. In the last two quarters my professors have learned who I was by name and all those I’ve met with personally have said that I was a pleasant addition to their classrooms. I don’t believe that my performance in the first few quarters at this university have been because of my abilities and I further disbelieve that switching to a different major would benefit me in any manor. The realm of psychology is something that will likely never cease to fascinate me and it furthers my desire to understand and help the less fortunate around me. Even though I found myself in an incredibly negative situation with my roommates even they knew that if they had serious problems they could speak to me, as my roommate did quite often.

I still need to raise my GPA to officially declare myself a full fledged major in Psychology and I believe over the next quarter I will be able to raise my GPA high enough to do so. Even considering this wall it is only stopping me from completing 302 and 303 both of which I should be able to take any quarter (to my understanding). I would also be willing to meet with the head of the psychology department to discuss becoming a major and setting necessary goals to keep myself in the major.

I know I can do this and I hope that my performance this summer proves that I am above what my current GPA shows. While it is a shame I had to discover it after being dismissed the newfound environment that I’m apart of is the one I was dreaming of from the moment I looked out to the waterfront in front of the Performing Arts Center. While I still have the rude awakener of the sun each morning through my window blinds it is a far more welcomed alarm than the nightly gagging of hungover suite mates. I would like to return in the fall and my planned course outline includes: Classical Studies 450 “Aristophenes & Athena”, Psychology 351 “Abnormal Psychology”, and Psychology 321 “Learning”. This will cover two of the requirements needed for my Major and my intended completion date of my major is by Summer of 09 at the latest. I am greatly looking forward to this quarter as all three classes interest me on a personal level as well as academically.

Here is what confuses me about hatred in this country.

If you make fun of someone that happens to be fat its ignorance towards obesity.
If you make fun of someone that happens to be a woman its misogyny.
If you make fun of someone that happens to be old its hatred towards the elderly.
If you make fun of someone that happens to be any race other than white its racism.
If you make fun of someone that happens to be poor you are insensitive to issues of poverty.
If you make fun of someone that is white and middle class or better it’s quite alright.

This goes for everyone from jokes to assault. If the police officer had tazered some white kid to death it would of been shocking but would of been shrugged off in a few days. The only reason the “Don’t taze me bro” kid got media attention is because it was hilarious.
I admit there are awesome things about being white, because everyone tells me there is. Sure I can’t make fun of anyone that isn’t white without getting attacked or labeled a racist, sure I can’t get financial aid (whereas a close friend who lives in a home instead of a mobile home can and all he has on me is a natural tan), sure when I apply for jobs I’m weighted against the advantageous design of diversity.

Hell lets look at the fact that diversity was defined in my developmental psychology book as “an integration of non white people and cultures”. By definition I’m apparently bland and undeserving. Then look at the fact that I get lumped in with every white hick who says something racist and for reasons unbeknownst to me I have to work harder just because my parents or my grandparents or my great grandparents were dicks to other people.

I didn’t even understand the concept of racism till I got into school. I lived in a neighborhood with people from all over the world (ethnically speaking) and most of us were middle class or below, not once did I think to myself “Wow these darkies need to shape up”. I had a great time and I grew up pretty damn fine, and yet I find myself getting into school and being drilled about how my people are rapists and slave owners. Most times not even emphasized in the past tense.

Racism is just like Gender typing. Racism is not inherently human much like boys are not inherently attracted to much of the things marketed to boys and girls to the things marketed to girls. We as a society treat people differently because of predetermined assumptions on how they should be. Instead of working for individual androgyny we fight hard to keep the “women love makeup and eating disorders” and “Men love cares and burning shit” just as we do the whole “All black people are opressed” and “All white people got it made in the shade”.

At the point people start making broad assumption about any group of people, even germans during world war II, they begin making one erroneous statement after the next. It’s a correlational flaw, did the cop tazer the kid to death because he was black and the cop was racist OR did the cop’s actions get labeled racist because the kid he tazered to death was black. Either way the cop was a dick but using his actions to explain how all white people have it out to tazer black people to death is retarded.

Man…there are far too many red underlined words in this rant…ah well.

PS. Lest I forget the only instances I’ve had with traffic police has been them pulling me over an telling me that people like me kill kids because I was caught going over the speed limit. The first time I was 16 and still learning how to drive the guy brought me to a tear stricken panic because he was shouting into my window and calling me a dumb shit for not knowing where my registration was.